Sometimes you want something new – not need but want. In fact you may want it so much that you convince yourself that you need it. And then when you get it you think, “What in hell did I do that for?”. Remember the song Did You Ever Have To make Up Your Mind by the Lovin Spoonful? The 1st refrain goes:
“Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind”
About 5 years ago I got a Dell laptop computer. It was, at the time, a fairly high end machine. It has served us very well. It has been on many trips. Literally from one end of this country to the other and many points in between. It has had a new screen installed, the hard drive partitioned, a new battery a few years ago and Linux installed. It has shown movies and played lots of music. It has helped me develop and put on a number of training courses. It is however quite heavy and dragging it through airports is always a challenge.
Last year when we were in BC I had a chance to see an Asus Eee PC 7″ netbook. It was tiny and weighs lass than 1 kg. It was a little sweetheart and to make it more attractive it came with a Linux OS. Hugh actually bought us one and we had it for two days before we decided that it was too small and we returned it.Since then I have wanted a new laptop. A smaller, newer, faster model that weighs a lot less. In fact I convinced myself that I needed one. So, I started dropping hints, not subtle ones either.”Val look at this”. Val when we get to SSM today I want to stop at Staples.” “Val did you see the deal in that email from Tigerdirect.” You get the picture. Then it was “Hugh do you think if I get a computer with X it will do A, B and C?” And on and on and on. About 3 weeks ago I went so far as to take Val into a store and point to the perfect mix of size, speed and cool. We came close but decided to go home and do our income tax. In the process we had the discussion about we don’t need it, we really have other priorities and besides the old one works just fine. Well that’s settled, right? Like heck it is. it just meant that we didn’t talk about it any more but I was still checking the Dell website every other day or so and keeping track of the deals. Then last Saturday morning my sister called with the news that my brother and her and I were going to share in some unexpected largess that came our way. When I got off the phone Val looked at me and said, “well there is your new laptop.” Sunday we made a trip into SSM and bought it. Tuesday we picked it up. What a little sweety, a 13.3″ screen, lots of power and speed and it weighs just a bit over 2 kg. A big difference from the old machine. It took off flying right straight out of the box. Val loves it and so do I. It comes into the living room with us and thanks to our wireless router and a built in wireless card in the new machine logging on is a snap. But and here comes the but I can not bring myself to pack up the old one. It is slower and heavier but it is still very functional (even if I would be laughed at if I tried to sell it for more than $2.00). I even found myself turning it on and using it yesterday afternoon. Oh the guilt.This sense of guilt that you don’t deserve a new whatever or that you really should use that money for something else is such a pain. It can get in the way of enjoyment. Anyway, I have it, I think that it is great, I’m going to keep it. I just have to decide what to do with the other one. So there.
Its March and in spite of over 35 winters in northern Ontario I still want it to be spring. I know that you can’t rush it, that winter lasts until at least the end of March BUT enough already. As I write this early on March 2nd it is -27C! Last Thursday we got a real shot of snow, 15cm+ and Friday morning as I went to work it was blowing, cold and nasty. Of course it snowed Thursday night when I had to work Friday and Saturday. That meant that I had to drive through the snow four times before I could start to clean up the mess yesterday morning. Driving through fresh snow before you move it makes the job that much more unpleasant. This what it looked like before I started. 
That is our mailbox at the end of the driveway. This is the entrance to the driveway
It took me almost 3 hours yesterday and I haven’t opened the path to the red shed where I store recycling until spring and to the sauna where I may get warm again. There are a couple of spots where the snow blower won’t throw the snow over the bank any more. I am going to have to move some of that snow before it starts to melt. 
When I got finished I put out a pail of corn for the deer who were out of the trees and munching away before I got the house. I sat on the porch and watched them. The snow is deep and they are hungry. We are entering what is surely the toughest month of the year for them. I’m sure that there will be a couple of more storms before winter is over and we will deal with that but it should be spring!
Here is the definition of inertia as a noun – “a feeling of unwillingness to do anything”. That is what I am feeling these days, inertia, in fact I seem to be approaching completely inert. We went off to Cuba almost 2 weeks ago, had an amazing time and when I got home I did not write one little entry here about all of the things we saw, heard, tasted and experienced. I have agreed to put on a training course for 4 days in mid-March, I did that in December, it is now 3 weeks until the start of the course and I just got off my ass yesterday and started to put together the material. In the process I discovered that a lot of what I used to be able to do in PowerPoint I have forgotten. Just lovely!
I am not sure if this inertia is winter related, age related or what but it is really bothering me, but not apparently enough to do something about it. See – inertia.The last two days I have wakened early, been down stairs, made the coffee and had my breakfast finished by 6.30 or so. I did what needed to be done in the morning and then spent the afternoon and a good portion of the evening laying on the couch dozing and watching TV, sort of. Man there is a lot of crap on TV.
Perhaps this is the first step to recovery. I am admitting my inertia. I’ll let you know of it works, if I can get up the energy 
.
Motivation, where does it come from & how do you hang on to it? This a question that I have been meaning to think about and write about, if I can get motivated. January is a dark month and a cold month and those two things combined seem to have driven any motivation I may possess into the farthest reaches of wherever motivation goes for a holiday. Probably Bali or a tiny village near the headwaters of the mighty Limpopo River in central Africa. Anyway it seems to have gotten off my island.
I have not uttered these words out loud but I made two promises to myself sometime between Christmas and new years. I told myself that I would reinvigorate this blog. I’m not sure why this has become important to me but it has. It is a matter of great pride for me to write something (hopefully of some import) regularly. As I have said here on more than one occasion I am in awe of Clara’s skill with words and with her ability to find time in an incredibly hectic life to write regularly, articulately and very humourously in her blog. And if my son would start to write in English instead of techno-garble I’m sure that I would enjoy his blog also . These two are my motivation.
The other promise I made to myself relates to my health. I live with diabetes and hypertension. Both of these are invisible and both are controllable, by me. All I have to do is lose weight, exercise regularly, eat a far better diet and cut way back on the amount of alcohol I consume. Last year my motivation stayed home and I actually managed to lose weight during the winter, enough weight that people started to notice. My doctor sure did! My BP dropped right back into the very normal range and my bg readings were the best they had been in sometime.I was using a recumbent exercise bike and walking. In the spring I kept it up. I was outside gardening and walking.I managed to keep the weight off over the summer and things were looking pretty good. Good enough that I thought that I could start to eat a bit more than I had been and things that I know are not good for me. Just before Christmas I had an appointment with my doctor and although my BP was still good my weight had started to creep back up.That was enough to make me stop exercising completely. So I told myself that come January 1 I would get off my ass and get back to it. Well here we are on Jan. 23 and I am till telling myself the same story. I delude myself into thinking that hauling in firewood once a week and walking behind the snow blower are suitable alternatives but I know it ain’t so. I walk past my bike half a dozen times a day and every time I think I should park my butt and spend 15 minutes but its not happening and it is really pissing me off. I have to start! So if anyone who reads this sees my motivationwill you please tell it to come home.
It has been a mere 9 months since I got off my ass and actually wrote something here. I was talking to a cousin just before Christmas and she mentioned that she has given up checking this blog because there is never anything new. How true. My determination to keep this going went the way of the dinosaurs. But in spite of the fact that I avoid new years resolutions like the plague this one has been eating at me for a couple of weeks so I am going to give it a try. Besides I have a great role model in my daughter-in-law who in spite of a new baby and a toddler continues to pump out witty, literate and hilarious commentaries on life and children and food and boots and general asshattery. I am barely worthy but I will try again .
The first thing I want to do is change the name of this blog, without starting all over again. Not sure if that can be done. Then I want to figure out how to clear the 85,000+ spam comments that have accumulated. Then I want to ensure that when I start a post I finish it. As I look at the top of this screen there are 9 posts in my draft file that i started but never completed. So stay tuned and hopefully my resolve will sustain itself.
Friday Val and I were going out in the afternoon. I started the car and immediately heard, from under the hood, a sound like there was a set of keys loose inside the engine or some of the parts instead of being attached to whatever they were supposed to be attached to were now traveling in loose formation. Using either analogy not a normal sound for the Malibu and not good either.
We immediately headed to Nick’s Automotive for a diagnosis of the problem. Of course by the time we arrived, about 4 minutes later, the sound was gone so I was stuck trying to explain the location and the nature of the sound so that Nick and Jesse could diagnose the disease. Off we went on our errands wondering what they were going to find.
About 2 hours later we returned to be told that what we had heard was the bearings in the shaft that runs the air conditioning pump starting to disintegrate. Lovely! First problem we won’t have an a/c. More serious problem, if the bearings let go the pulley on the end of the shaft won’t stay in place and that pulley is one the holds the serpentine belt in place. The serpentine belt makes things like the alternator and the water pump work so if the bearings in the a/c shaft let go the whole damned engine comes to a halt. Now a new a/c pump is expensive. The one in my pickup needs to be replaced and a good estimate is in the range of $1,000. The car is almost 8 YO and the odometer is currently spinning through 250,000 km. with retirement slated for sometime next year. Jesse told me that it is possible to remove the a/c pump completely and replace it with a bolt-on unit that will simply hold a pulley to allow the serpentine belt to stay in place. Clear so far? In the meantime Jesse says it is safe to drive the car.
Now for the part of this sad story that is really getting up my nose. As I said by the time we got to Nick’s the sound had disappeared and three days later it has not reappeared. The engine is running smooth and quiet and we still have a/c. What to do, what to do. If we disconnect the a/c we will have to spend the summer with the windows rolled down. Been there, done that. If we continue to drive we run the risk of the bearings letting go and getting stranded somewhere. If we can make it through to September I don’t care if the air doesn’t work. I really dislike phantom noises.
Charlie is significantly bigger than he looks in the photo in the last post. I have figured out how to import a photo but only a thumbnail it appears. I’ve been scouring the WP forums and FAQs but maybe someone who reads this knows the answer and will take pity on an old guy .
It snowed yesterday, all day, quite heavily. By the time it stopped there was/is probably 15+ cm of fresh fluffy snow in the yard.It still there. It didn’t melt last night, of course not because as soon as the snow stopped the temperature dropped and is currently (07.30 hr) resting comfortably at -22C, coldest morning so far this winter. So I will have to shortly dress in layers, get on my warm boots and go and see if my snowblower will start so I can get the yard cleaned up on the coldest morning of the winter so far. I could drive through this much snow but then it would get all rutted and then when I did have to blow it clean it would be a real mess. Besides I have to clean the end of the driveway and around the mailbox so that Julie the rural mail delivery person can get our mail into the box without getting her car stuck or having to climb over a snow bank.
Oh did I mention that the wood rack in the basement is almost empty? It is and since we depend on that lovely hard maple firewood to keep us warm its time to refill the the wood rack, on the coldest morning of the winter so far.
Its is starting to get light and I have had my breakfast and 2 cups of excellent coffee so there aren’t any real good excuses to delay this any longer. Here I go, on the coldest morning of the winter so far.